You want me to what?

The last few days Dom has been talking to me about going back to work...ARE YOU CRAZY, I ask.
I don't want to leave our kids with strangers that could never appreciate them like I do, let alone love them.
Secondly, doesn't he remember I was only working to pay for day care for 4 kids and fuel?
Is school really where the 2 eldest children need to be learning? I don't like what they are teaching in those buildings.
Dom is also talking about going on another deployment. Which, once again, apparently I have no say in.
It is hard enough on everyone with him being gone let alone for me to have to go back to work.
When he was on the last deployment and the twins were born, I was a wreck. I was screaming @ the kids, never sleeping, and I gained 25 lbs after I had lost all the baby weight! My family helped when they could, but come on, people have a life. Mady had 2 hours of school work after being @ school for 7 hours plus after school activities and I was breastfeeding. Niki is almost school age and I cannot imagine having to sit down and force her to learn to read plus help Mady with homework and take care of the house, bills, yard, an outside career and the kids! While I am telling Dom all this, as if I need to justify not having a "paying job," he sits on the sofa shaking his head.

It all began, I think, when he visited a friend he rarely talks with these days. The "friend" in question had just purchased a new street bike. First of all, how old are you? Secondly, this friend has no children and a girlfriend that makes an average salary contributing to bills as well. Dom's friend also owns a new home and a few vehicles. They are in debt up to their...well frankly over their heads. If someone doesn't get paid something will be repoed soon.

Dom mentioned that it would be nice to have extra money. For me it would only be nice to have extra money if I can come by it without having to leave the kids. I do not believe there is anything the kids can learn @ school that they cannot learn from living day to day life. Then Dom says, "What if you screw them up more by keeping them home?"
I have confidence the kids will grow to be well adjusted contributing members of society...and if they don't, I will love them anyway. I am their mom. My head is spinning just trying to think of some way to earn a little money from home to offset some bills so we can have some "extra" money.

When it comes right down to it though, will that really make us happy? I don't think so. I am so incredibly tired of outside sources defining how my family think and behave. I feel I have very little influence on Dom. I read constantly and when I mention something I am concerned about he seems uninterested and can only regurgitate things he has been told (military) or heard on the news (censored.) I suppose the only answer is to look for a part time job on the weekends.

I have a picture in my mind's eye of how things will be around here...but I suppose we all have to compromise sometimes.