Stay With You

I actually have a ton to post, sadly, I also need a ton of time to post it!
Last week we spent every day @ a park day with a different group. It was crazy busy. We were up early every day and @ a park by 10am to play with friends. We were usually there until about 2ish then it was off to the library or errands or our little side jobs. We weren't arriving home until 8 or 9. Then it was time to eat, shower and sleep. We usually read a few longer kids novels per week, but due to all the new friends we are still reading the same book this week that we started last week.

So, what was gained from all this socializing? New connections, insights, & family fun time. We probably met 20 new families last week and some of them are actually local enough we could hang out. On the other hand, since we are unschoolers, we don't always mesh well with traditional homeschoolers. I honestly try to be accepting of all people. I enjoy learning from others. I also enjoy taking bits and pieces of newly gained knowledge and applying the knowledge to my life in a way that improves my lifestyle or my point of view. I truly try to listen and consider all points of view. I believe every person has to learn their own truth.
What I mean is, just bc I enjoy eating organic food for my health and, I believe, for the planets health, you may not believe the planet benefits bc it takes 1.5 acres to grow organic vegetables when a farmer could raise that same amount of non-organic vegetables on 1 acre. So, there is a truth for you and a truth for me. So, I say again, I try to be understanding and accepting but I am coming to realize I don't want to be around people that do not treat their kids like people. Some parents treat their offspring as a dog by barking commands @ them and making decisions for them constantly.
I find most unschoolers also practice gentle parenting-I am disliking labels more and more these days but I have to have some way to describe our parenting style that the mainstream has heard of. So, when I hear parents barking orders @ their children, it truly makes me cringe. Sometimes, when you witness a child being reprimanded in public by a parent, you can see the child recoil as if to attempt to hide inside oneself. I have to look away. There is nothing I can do in a situation like that. I feel as though there is nothing I can do. I have found that parents who are behaving this way towards their children are often devout Christians and do not believe there is any other way. Not always, but most often that is the case. Some of the parents believe that is how a loving Christian God would have us raise our children-with discipline and making their choices bc you are the parent and, after all, you do know best, right?
After one short week of exposing ourselves to as many local homeschoolers as we could locate, I find that after all this, we are right where we need to be. There are 2 groups we are active with, though they are small, they have love for our children and they are comforting. They feel like home.

Sadly, we will not spend time with many of the new families we met bc I do not wish to have our children exposed to people who believe that young children's frontal lobes haven't developed and they don't realize the long term effects a decision can have on their future lives. That is a direct quote people. Those of you reading this who unschool and practice gentle parenting can see how these types of comments have no place in our lives.

Are we truly that different? Is it that hard to see that our kids are people? It makes me wonder how these people treat their spouses? Do you tell your spouse to stop playing a game just bc you believe they have been playing it too long? This entire week has really made me realize, the way we are raising our kids is very different from the mainstream. I think we have just been surrounded with our unschooling friends for so long that we forgot what the "real" world is like.

One of our friends posted a comment about living our lives by our core values and by doing so we pass that way of living onto our kids. This way we pass on qualities to our kids that we would like to see them posses without the constant fear of consequences which only lead a child to fear and self rejection. This is a personal truth I have lived myself as a child, so I believe in this comment whole heartedly. I do not want my children growing up believing I only love them if they behave a certain way.

My parents are accepting of me now. I no longer feel as though I must behave a certain way for my family to love me. I know that my family will love me just bc I am me. I do get great joy from behaving in accordance with my own truth, my core values, and from passing that onto my kids. I am feeling less and less pressure to comply with mainstream society. I find myself pulling away from it more and more.